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6A3

黃珞嘉

Wong Lok Ka

Saving Santa


The alert came over the radio, “Emergency!” Santa is trapped in a chimney. Christmas will likely be cancelled. As soon as I heard it, I knew I would have to do something and do it fast. I quickly gathered my gear and headed for the door.

While I was running to the chimney, I wondered what could’ve happened to him. Did he fall down off his sleigh and Rudolph pushed him with his big red nose?

At the same time, I was thinking about all that I could get, including a life sentence.

In the corner of my eye, I saw black boots which looked like pants, “I’m here.” I didn’t know how to get up, so I just had to climb up myself. I was so nervous, I could feel my palms getting sweaty just thinking about it. Finally, I got to the top without dying, I got my axe out ready to smash the chimney apart, but I kept telling myself that I would get sued for doing this. Then, I thought of all the innocent children throughout the world who would miss Christmas, and it was something I needed to do.

I kept my movements careful, trying not to hurt Claus. It felt wrong to destroy someone’s property. After minutes of smashing the chimney, I could pull Santa out.

At the same time, the FBI were in a formation for a little girl on a roof, me.

Rudolph explained everything to the FBI with a translating device on him but the sheriff said, “You still got to fix that chimney.” When I saw Santa pull out a small pouch of dust and sprinkled it across the roof, he gave me a smile and flew off, making the Christmas minicab fly off to kids around the world.

Cool Girl_edited.jpg

Teacher’s comment:

You really have the potential to be a creative writer! You describe very well the process to save Santa who was being trapped in the chimney! The story is complete and creative with a happy ending!
For the grammar, you definitely did a good job! Your sentence structures are good with lots of vocabulary and adjectives to describe the feelings of the characters. Please pay attention not to write run-on sentences and check tenses.
For organization, the sentences are fluent and clear! Keep up your fabulous work!
Wish you a Merry Christmas!

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